Zen Muskoka Yoga Studio
It's 10am on a weekday. I'm sitting at my kitchen table sipping morning brew. I slept about 9 hours, embracing my inner toddler. I'll eventually get dressed. And I'm feeling something silly: I am sensing guilt, restlessness, and a little anxiety.
In the four years I've been teaching yoga and owning a business, I've worn many hats, dabbled in many areas, and met and worked with many awesome humans. I've 'worked' every single day in some capacity whether checking a few emails before heading out for a sweet surf or teaching five back-to-back classes alongside a workshop or two, just for fun. My business has been my baby, my love, my life and now it's changing.
I'm moving the Studio into a new space and community this New Year. It's a shift that's bound to reap amazing results and growth for not only myself, but the teachers and students that have been practising together. We've planned a diverse schedule with many perks to offer further education and exploration through yoga, meditation, mindfulness, and a range of movement practices.
So why am I feeling guilty and restless?
I've got support; I've got generous people who have dedicated their time to help the Studio succeed. I've got an awesome team of teachers who are all strong, authentic individuals who blend wonderfully together to hold our curious and driven students in a practice that flows out into our blooming tiny town.
I've got new mentors, new friends, new networks who are all being of their best service to evolve our selves and our businesses. I've got a plethora of knowledge at my fingertips and ample time and space to expand my awareness.
Again, I ask why I'm feeling anxious?
Recently, there have been conversations at the dinner table, over a coffee, and on the mat, surrounding what it means to have a 'career' and what's expected from us so-called adults. How much time should be spent at work, or working, to be considered a fully functioning, contributing, 'normal' adult? How many hours per day, per week should an entrepreneur be productive to be considered an entrepreneur and not just a lazy bum? If a self-employed woman doesn't answer her emails for a day, does anyone notice? If a tree falls in the forest....
Since building my business, evolving my business, asking for and accepting support, I believe I'm only now finding BALANCE. I actually have time off? And not just the type of time off that is essentially me running away from complete burnout to the nearest beach...
This is strange new territory for me. I'm not solely at the reigns anymore and I feel myself grasping for unnecessary control. Practising trust and empowering others to make decisions for my baby that I don't need to triple-check is truly challenging my old idea of the typical business owner. Maybe I don't need to be slaving over every last detail on my website at 2am when I've got a class at 7am I need to be fresh and inspiring for. Maybe, just maybe, I could release the strangle-hold on my to-do lists and possibly... delegate?
For now, I'll dance in the new spaces and see how it feels. I understand that guilt gets me nowhere except more caffeinated. Anxiety about the details, self-induced stress about money or time or people, and restlessness underlying it all does absolutely nothing for my creativity and productivity. Who knows, maybe I'll free up enough space to start another business...
Much love for you and your listening,
The yogi's of Muskoka